Which are you?

Real girls are independent, loving, and affectionate

We don’t need a man for financial security

We have dreams and adventures planned

Rally car racing in East Africa

Eating in Rome and shopping in Dubai

Walking the great wall of China

Laying on the beach in Goa


Fake girls are hoes

Hoes use sex to get something in return

They will try to steal your man

Deceptive, manipulating snakes

They are worse than any man


Real girls are bad assess

We work out regularly and eat healthy

Give their man the best sex of his life

And make all his fantasies come true


Real girls have confidence

And are what they want to be

Not afraid to fall in love passionately

But not controlled by emotional dependence.

Fake girls value things over people

Weak-minded, shallow judgments

Men often don’t see them coming.

And they can’t be trusted.


Real girls know how to treat a man

But not get walked all over.

We don’t need to dominate our man

But are always in control.


Real girls can accomplish anything through

Determination and hard work

Real girls rule in male dominated industries

Danika Patrick, Nicki Minaj, Iggy Azelia, MIA

Hilary Clinton, Eleanor Roosevelt,

Madeline Albright, Sheikha Mozah

Malala Yousafzai and Mother Theresa paved the way.


Which girl are you?


Someone Who Loves You Less Than Me

It’s funny how we can only understand each other in poem form

I have never experienced such an intense romance before

I’m so deeply in love with you

This drunkin love spell even has me wearing perfume


I had a dream of us growing old together

And waking up every day next to each other

The beautiful kids we could have

And all the joy and fun filled years to be had

But this is a fantasy

And I must accept reality


My passion is unmeasurable and dedication limitless

But I reflect on my current situation

And wonder how it came to this

I would do anything for you

Yet I’m a foolimages

You ask me to compromise my dignity, values, and who I am

I would never touch or kiss another man

You say you need to do that for your career

And flirt with the girls to make them fans


Even though you don’t believe in soul mates forever

It’s hard to imagine that our souls aren’t meant to be together

I should have questioned you more from the start

I should have thought twice before opening my heart

Unless you are willing to compromise your art

You will continue to stab me in the heart


You’re my best friend

And I don’t want this to end


It’s as though the universe has played a cruel trick on me

But I need to fulfil my destiny of who I’m meant to be

You need someone who loves you less than me

Who will let you be free

I guess we aren’t meant to be.


*picture taken from chedonline.com

I’m Real

When you were discovering San Diego in 98
I was falling in love with Prague.
I ran across the Charles Bridge wearing a white dress in the rain and fog.
While you were on those steps at State
I was having intellectual debates
With young bright minds from all over the place.

I have lived in six countries and visited 18 others.
In Uganda I discovered my band of brothers.
It was a time of 3rd world harshness and great joys
And I got a clearer understanding of men vs. boys.
I don’t want to be with someone that glorifies strippers and hoes.
Like Nicki Minaj says, I look like yes and you look like no.

Yeah I got it
And don’t you forget it.women 1440x900 wallpaper_www.wallpaperfo.com_88
You think you’re so cool
But compared to me you’re a fool.
Your brilliance can’t compare.
We aren’t really an ideal pair.

The love spell wore off and your true self is revealed
And I realize you’re not on my level of appeal.
Chillin in the slums of Mexico City, Kampala, Bombay and Nairobi
Sometimes I wonder if you even know me.
I have smoked shisha with bedouins in the Sinai and Abu Dhabi.

I have almost lost my life
But I have also given life.
Watched the sunset on a beach in Mombasa and Goa.
Got heart-broken in Rome but partied away my sadness in Barcelona.
Picture being approached by a group of men each with a panga.
Then imagine the tremendous poverty in Kibera and Katanga.
I’m rich in experience and crave adventure.
Which is why I’m 10 times better than her.
Like Nicki if you ask me to take a break
I’ll give it all away
Don’t care what the people say
A million billion trillion miles away.

I’m highly educated in school and life.
I will also be a good wife.
I have been taught the most important lessons of life
from an African mama that always knew what was right.
She said treat your man like a king
If you want to be a queen
And don’t ever let people see you be mean.
I have done more in my life than you can even dream.

I will lift you up when you are down and put out your fires.
Make sweet love to you and give you everything you desire.
I can make you the happiest man alive
And I will thrive.
I may love you and share my soul with you
But don’t forget the one thing you cannot refuse –
I’m on another level and this poem is for you.

Picture taken from www.wallpaperfo.com_88

For Someone Special


I feel so deeply in love with you

I wonder if I know who you are

or does my emotion make it so I have blinders on


We grew up worlds apart

yet I felt close to you from the start

I seem to want to sleep with you even when you piss me off

I always just want to take your clothes off


You are a shining star

especially when you smile

I hope you get to know the real me

although it may take a while



I hope all your dreams come true

and your failures are few

I feel blessed to have known you

and I adore you too


I hope you feel my passion and love

and you are comforted by knowing your mom is watching from above

I hope our connection will grow

and you can feel my positive energy flow

The Proof is in the Feet

“Hold up, I see a lot of folks in here sittin ’round like your shoes too tight
If you wear a size 10, don’t cram yo’ shit up in a size 6 ladies
Be proud of yo’ big-ass feet” – Missy Elliott

This great quote by Missy Elliott in her song Joy sums up the point of this article. Women are oppressed in so many subtle ways in our society that we don’t even notice.  The burden of oppression can even be seen in our feet. Look at the images below.  One is of a Chinese bound foot and the other is of a ballerina.  They are not easy to look at and its hard to believe someone would do that to their body.

If you google ballerina feet, you will find even grosser pictures. Gender roles creep up on us when we’re young. I remember being in elementary school and feeling  like I wanted to be a beautiful elegant ballerina. My best friend was the top of her ballet class and she encouraged me to try it but then I saw her feet. While dealing with growing pains, her feet were horribly abused by the wooden tipped shoes that ballerinas are forced to endure. Thank goodness I had the sense to settle for jazz dance instead. Why has this archaic dance not evolved? Male ballet dancers don’t need to wear these shoes. Ballet is a beautiful dance form until the ballerinas go en pointe. This is supposed to make them look weightless and graceful but I think they look more like timid birds helplessly fluttering over the floor. Can’t we have strong graceful ballerinas without deformed feet?

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Shame on Vanity Fair

Shame on Vanity Fair for their publication of Dubai on Empty.  Having lived in the UAE, I find the article to be offensive and untrue.  It presents one negative stereotype after another and its clear the author fails to possess any understanding of Emirati culture.  Just because the author doesn’t get Emirati culture, doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.  The article does state some facts about Dubai, like the roads changing frequently, etc., but his broad judgments about Emirati culture are disturbing.  I wonder if he did his research surveying drunken expats in a bar that don’t even know any Emiratis.  The most disheartening fact is that there is great prejudice against Muslims and Arabs in the western world and an article like this is likely to perpetuate such hatred.  Would Vanity Fair publish an article re-enforcing negative African American stereotypes?  I would imagine that an article inferring that African Americans are lazy criminals wouldn’t be approved by Vanity Fair’s editors but somehow it’s ok to criticize Arabs. Here are some points in the article that I find to be unjustly biased:

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The Anti-Mother

There are two types of women – ones that are meant to have children (Natural Mothers) and those that aren’t (Anti-Mothers).  The percentage break down is unclear but it seems that it would be a worthwhile study.  There are those women who have always wanted children their entire lives, they can visualize having them and then they have simple natural births, like they were created to make babies.  Then there are those woman who may or may not have children, but they never envisioned having children nor considered it a significant aspect of their existence.  A more obvious sign is that their body rejects the concept of giving birth entirely. 

I’m an Anti-Mother.  All babies are blessings but sometimes they are surprises.  I wonder what percentage of children are surprises?  I presume a large number.  In such cases, the first few months are filled with utter shock.  Not dread or horror so much but more of a disbelief on how one is going to manage staying sober for 9 months straight and give birth to something much larger than then the hole it comes from.  Some women say they love being pregnant and those women deserve to be punched in the face.  Creating a baby is a magical process but for some women, it is the worst time of their lives.  Between the sickness and hormonal changes, one can only think of surviving day-to-day knowing that the torture will end although the worst has yet to come.  Read More

Top Chef Heartbreak: Another Example of Female Oppression

In American society women are socialized to be the more insecure gender and men are conditioned to exude confidence.  The socialization process is so subtle and consistent that it is very difficult to even notice that it is happening.  I see examples of how women are made to feel more insecure than men all the time and the finale (part 1) of this season’s Top Chef is no exception.  Chef Jennifer Carroll was the only woman among the final four chefs.  Throughout the season her food was praised as much as the other three finalists and she clearly had equal ability.  After the judges critiqued everyone’s food in the finale, one chef was clearly the favorite and they had issues with the dishes of the three other chefs.  Based on the judges comments, it appeared that Jennifer was eliminated based on her comments at the judges table rather than the taste of her food.  Read More

From Great Men to Greedy Oppressors

The American founding fathers were great men.  They had their faults but the one thing that no one can criticize about them is that they left power at the right time.   They must have believed or dreamed that America would someday become a powerful influential democracy that could be an example for all nations.  Did they step down because they understood their historical significance or were there too many powerful like minded leaders that wouldn’t allow dictatorship to flourish in our new fragile democracy?

Africa also had honorable leaders but few of them willingly left power when their terms were up.  There were a few that may have left  power when they were supposed to but one can argue that they weren’t remarkable men like the founding fathers.  Like George Washington, Uganda’s Museveni, Eritrea’s  Isaias, and Zimbabwe’s Mugabe were all great military leaders that liberated their countries through a grassroots effort.  All were tremendously popular and strove to create a foundation of democracy in their country.   Like the American founding fathers, many great African leaders were not fans of dictators, yet they have failed their people and have become exactly what they liberated their people from (in some cases even more oppressive). Read More

Luo Cultural Rights – Foreskin Protection

I was astounded to see an article last month about Prime Minister Odinga and other Lou government ministers promoting circumcision in their community and admitting that they had the surgery done recently. Odinga and others said they got circumcised because they believe it reduces the chance of contracting HIV. Researchers have said that circumcision may reduce contracting HIV by 40-60%, but condoms have a 90% protection rate. When I first heard of Odinga’s plea to his own Luo community about encouraging everyone to get circumcised, I wondered why does Odinga have to worry about getting HIV anyways? Is he not faithful to his wife? He is trying to set a good example for his people and admitted to this very personal medical choice to the world, but is he really admitting to something much more unethical? If you read my other article on Kenya, I’m sure you can tell that I’m not a huge fan of Odinga, but my respect for him has diminished even more after learning this news. Read More

Women Warriors

There were many impressive, moving moments at this year’s Democratic National Convention. I only remember the last few conventions but the speeches this time were better than ever. My favorite speeches of the convention were by Al Gore and Hillary Clinton. Hillary appeared stronger and more powerful then ever as she proceeded to yell into the mic throughout her speech. Her voice was even getting raspy at the end as if her small body couldn’t contain her passion. I was pleased to see that she swallowed her ego and endorsed Obama uniting the party. The next morning on my way to work, I listened to National Public Radio in the car and I was shocked to hear all the political pundits saying that Hillary didn’t go far enough to endorse Obama. I, along with the rest of the Democrats, were looking for any sense of insincerity in her support for Obama and I couldn’t find any facial expression, gesture, or word that cast a doubt. Read More

What is hip hop?

I had very little exposure to hip hop growing up behind the orange curtain of the OC until I moved to east Africa in college. Kids in Nairobi were listening to commercial hip hop in bars and clubs and I frequently heard Tupac in villages in Uganda (I heard a lot of Britney Spears too). A few years later when I moved to DC, I was fairly familiar with the west coast classics but didn’t really know what hip hop was all about until I met my husband in 2003. He listened to hip hop 24/7 and I became a huge fan of Gang Starr, Outkast, Eminem, Biggy, Missy Elliot, Atmosphere, The Coup and others. Read More

Danica Patrick Rules!

A few weeks ago, I discovered an aspect of American culture I had never experienced before- car racing. I never realized how popular car racing is nationally and on the grassroots level. My uncle races a classic corvette, which goes at least 140 mph. He goes to tracks throughout the southwest and races a few times a year against other people in his class. The event is not open to the public and made up of the drivers that belong to local clubs with their friends and families. I went one weekend and it way much more exciting than I expected. They also had IndyCars and other stock cars. According to NASCAR’s website, NASCAR is the most spectated sport in America. Read More

Laguna Love

If anyone in the world asked me where I’m from, I would say California before America or Orange County. California was named by the Spanish after a novel about a wild island ruled by half naked Amazonian women. It must have been the first thing that the horny sailors could think of when they first saw California’s breath taking shoreline. I remember in California history class, that 80% of native California tribes were peaceful hunter gatherers. It made me wonder if people who live in paradise develop slower than people in cold societies who have to struggle over scarce resources. Regardless, I’m proud to be Californian and would support succession if anyone was courageous to spearhead such a revolution. Read More

Heart of Darkness

The Democratic Republic of Congo has been cursed with natural disasters, poverty, exploitation, conflict, and all sorts of suffering for endless decades. I cannot begin to skim the surface of the complex issues of the Congo here, but I was shocked to see an article on the BBC a few weeks ago that said people are still “discovering” villages in Congo. When imagining remote villages described in the Poisonwood Bible, it was hard to believe that some villages were so isolated from the outside world, dominated by superstition, and existing in the same way they did hundreds of years ago. But after reading statements from the Rainforest Foundation, I’m starting to wonder. It appears that 190 villages have been found in one area of Bandundu province where the government had originally thought 30 villages had existed. The government is surveying the area as they hand out permits to logging companies in the area. The government has already allocated parts of the territory to 11 logging concessions and the lives of these villagers will be greatly affected as a result with little consideration from the government. Instantly after reading the news, I wondered: Do these people receive no protection or social services from the government? What if there is an outbreak of a serious disease (like Ebola) in one of the villages? Being oppressed is one thing, but not existing at all…that seems insulting on another level. Read More

Sweet Justice

There is nothing better than sweet justice. As African governments slowly democratize, I have always argued that the development of independent, efficient, effective judiciaries is the most important aspect of democratic progress. The courts in various countries on the continent pose the only significant balance of power to Prime Ministers and Presidents dominating political systems. There are several important trails that either are currently taking place or will take place that could change Africa forever. Charles Taylor is currently on trial in the Hague and Hissene Habre will likely be going to trail soon. They are two of Africa’s worse dictators still alive. Habre is dubbed Africa’s Pinochet and Charles Taylor is famous for hacking off the limbs of innocent civilians in western Africa. Even Uganda’s Joseph Kony is scared of the International Criminal Court’s indictments (he is East Africa’s most ruthless rebel leaders in recent history known for abducting more than 20,000 children that were forced to mutilate and kill northern Ugandans.) Leaders of governments and rebel movements will now have to think twice before killings, mutilating, and torturing people in large numbers. Read More


I witnessed the hottest thing I have seen on TV in years the other night – finale for American’s Best Dance Crew. If you want to instill nationalism in today’s youth and fight their disenchantment, just promote shows like American’s Best Dance Crew. America is a mix of many cultures and the people from each geographical region have various characteristics. I have been exposed to people from each area. I lived in DC, which is a mix of north and south. My husband is from the mid-west and I’m from the West – WESTSIDE!!! The final episode was a battle between all crews from each region of the country. Read More

Did Hilary get screwed by the media or is the U.S. just that sexist?

There has been a lot of discussion in the media and the general public about how for the first time in decades the democratic electorate is energized. People are coming out to vote for the Democrats in record numbers. This could be because we have two excellent, well-qualified candidates or the thought of another Republican like Bush in the white house is terrifying. I, on the other hand, have been feeling more disenfranchised than ever. It is all about the polls, momentum, and who the media says is winning. What happened to the idea of letting the voters be heard based on each candidate’s platform. Each vote counts and should be seen as separate from the media empire controlled by a handful of individuals. The media seemed excited when Obama won Iowa (he is very charismatic) and even gave New Hampshire to Obama when Hilary won it. Of course, they had to retract that when all the votes were counted and revealed that polls are not all that reliable. Read More

Kenya’s Reality Revealed

In 2002, my senior project for college was a comparative study of Uganda and Kenya politics and my thesis in graduate school (2005) discussed the development of democracy in Kenya, Uganda, and Botswana. Since then, Uganda and Botswana have faced various democratic challenges; however my argument on Kenya hasn’t changed since I lived there in 2001. Democracy is unlikely to flourish in Kenya as long as ethnic conflict remains at the heart of political, social, and cultural issues. Read More